Be Careful What You Ask For
You Just Might Get it
I was the hopes and the dreams of the people in my world…
My identity was given to me at a young age and when those identities came crumbling down. Large foundations built from narrations— stories of who I was meant to be now just a mess that laid before my feet. I felt like a lost soul searching for meaning and purpose.
Where was home?
Amongst the chaos I found myself looking for peace in what was familiar. My father’s voice in my head. “If you don’t work hard then you don’t deserve food to fill your belly.”
“But father I didn’t ask to be born!” I scream at the shadow of my father that stands before me in my mind. An invisible presence that followed me for a majority of my life. An energetic cord binding us.
Did he realize the weight he placed on my shoulders? All I wanted was his love and affection— my parents love didn’t come for free.
Much was demanded of me and I found myself shifting and molding myself to be what they wanted.
“I’m not perfect and I don’t want to give my life just to exist anymore!” On the outside I smile, a carefully crafted illusion that hides the little girl inside that feels lost and confused—Why would you ask the universe for me if you were going to be ashamed of me… daddy?” Her question timid and unsure. She was afraid of asking questions. Using her voice was dangerous, her parents didn’t like it when she questioned their will and she didn’t want the truth. The truth was painful.
For half my life I chased after a plan that was designed for my life. Something feeling not quite right. Through the physical eyes my life appeared to be perfect according to society.
I had security but at what cost? “
“It won’t cost much—just your voice,” hisses Ursula, the Sea Witch, as she rips the shimmering song from Ariel’s throat like a thief in the dark.
I lived without my voice, playing a role I never chose—just to please those who were meant to love and support me.
When it all came crashing down, I found myself face to face with life itself, asking:
WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Will you repeat the same karmic lesson, or will you finally listen to the call of your soul— cut through the illusion—and align with what was always meant for you?
I recently found myself in unknown territory. My soul screaming at me, “go this way!”
The logical mind looking at all the options around me saying, “this one is safe.”
Consulting my tarot cards, the truth is revealed— illusions fall away like smoke in the wind. Leave it to the divine to tell you how it is.
On the surface, countless opportunities glimmer, promising physical security... but beneath the shine lies the price: emotional and spiritual exhaustion.
For years I chased after what I thought I wanted and found out the hard way. I manifested from survival and the cost was my inner peace. I was trying to build something stable on something fake.
“That opportunity could be something stable. Tread with caution there are people and energies involved that will use manipulation and power dynamics. It could open energetic wounds you are still healing. There are better choices that align with your soul’s highest path.”
I already knew there were power dynamics at play.
I can read people—the energy they carry, the frequency they speak in, even when they say nothing at all.
It’s a gift I’ve had since I was a child.
The woman offering the online job wears the mask of security—
but beneath it, I feel the weight she places on what she owns,
on how much she earns.
Her self-worth is tied to numbers and titles.
As the employer, if I don’t stand firm in my boundaries, she’ll bulldoze right over me.
Her focus is on money, status, and legacy—
but not in a way that aligns with my soul.
It’s a shiny opportunity, sure. It glitters with financial promise—but I know I’d have to dim my light just to fit into her world.
This path doesn’t lead to change. It sustains the very system my soul came here to dismantle. I wasn’t born to promote corruption. I came here to help build something new.
Which Opportunity Is Meant for Me?
The tarot confirmed what I already felt—I was right. So I asked, “Then which opportunity is actually meant for me?”
I’ve tried so many things, hoping something would finally feel right. But none of them did. Because they didn’t align, all I ever felt was unrest.
Every job I’ve had has treated me like a number, not a person. Even the one I have now makes that clear. They cut my hours. They hired new people without telling me. It’s obvious—I’m replaceable.
I’m tired. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally drained from always having to fight for stability. I’m tired of the grind, of surviving instead of living.
So I finally told the divine exactly how I feel. I told them I’m scared. I’ve been homeless twice. And this time, I really thought I had a secure job. But here I am again—uncertain, anxious, and exhausted.
If I’m honest, I haven’t felt peace since I lost my identity as a wife in 2020. An abusive marriage. I gave someone seven years of my life, love, and my body, and in the process, I lost myself, nearly dying. Grieving that version of me who died—the wife I thought I’d be and the mother I imagined I could become.
The little girl that wanted to live in a magical world.
Left with trauma that my body and nervous system remembers even if the mind says I’m fine, the body yells.
“ I am not ok!” Even if I want to keep pushing, I feel myself forcing my body to perform when it is begging for rest. The corruption in the world’s reply? “Take a pill and get back in line!”
That’s right show your truth! You don’t care if I can barely function in this hell created by monsters. As long as I take your expensive meds that hurt my body and feed your greed machine. That is all you care about!
There’s a lot I’m still carrying. But I’m trying to figure out where I go from here—what I’m meant to do—and how to find a life that actually supports who I really am.
I want something real.
Sometimes it is a curse seeing through all the illusion. It’s not just jobs it is people. I watch carefully— what they talk about. How they talk to me and their reactions to the topics I bring up in conversation. I can’t turn it off and I find myself walking away,
Silently I travel a path my soul chose for me before I was born.
“Not all that glitters is gold.”
You need to ask yourself:
What part of me am I sacrificing for this opportunity?
Am I choosing this from a place of alignment with my heart—
or is it fear making the decision,
pulling me toward what feels familiar or comfortable?